Important things to know
✅ Family mediation is your choice. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.
✅ You are in control. You and the other person make the decisions, not the mediator.
✅ You can stop at any time if it isn’t working.
✅ Help with costs may be available via legal aid or a voucher scheme, and we can help you access these.
⚠️ If there has been domestic abuse, we need to ensure mediation is safe and suitable. Always tell us if you’re worried about your safety.
⚠️ If a child is at risk of harm, the courts, police or another service may need to be informed.
What happens in family mediation?
- You have a first meeting on your own. The mediator meets each person separately for a conversation. Its a chance to ask questions, raise any concerns and see if mediation is right for you. Solicitors and the courts might call the first meeting a MIAM.
- You and the other person meet together with the mediator. You may be in the same online space or meeting room, or sometimes the mediator moves between you in separate rooms (shuttle). The mediator helps you take turns to speak and listen, and you agree an agenda covering decisions about children, finances, or both.
- You talk about what you each want to happen. The mediator guides you through exploring the options and making proposals. You don’t have to agree on everything at once. Most people need between two and four sessions.
- The mediator records your decisions for you both to reflect on and agree. A solicitor can then help make them legally binding.
Why choose family mediation
Family mediation is a way to sort out family problems, usually where a couple is separating, with the help of an independent, trained mediator. It’s an alternative to a court-only divorce process. You might still need legal advice, but mediation can reduce arguments, time and costs, and puts you in the driving seat. See our Fees page for a cost comparison.
If you’re going to court, you’ll usually be asked to attend a MIAM (assessment meeting) first. This doesn’t mean you have to go ahead with mediation, though many people find it helpful and choose to continue.
A trained, impartial helper
The mediator doesn’t take sides. They help both people be heard, and make sure children’s views are considered where appropriate. Family mediators belong to a professional organisation and receive regular supervision, so you can be assured they follow a proper code of practice. Helen Jones is an associate member of the Family Mediation Association and registered with the Family Mediation Council.
What you say stays private
Everything said in mediation is confidential and won’t be shared with a court. The only exception is if there is concern about a serious crime, or potential harm to a child or adult.
In financial separation matters the courts require full financial disclosure for a binding financial order, so it makes sense to include this in your mediation. You make the financial decisions, then ask the court to agree.
You may still need legal or financial advice
We strongly recommend it, but agreements made in mediation can significantly reduce the work needed from experts, and are more likely to last than those imposed by a court. Mediation also lets you practise a new way of talking and negotiating now that you’re no longer a couple.
Practical options
Most mediation takes place online, but we can mediate in a ‘real world’ meeting room. It’s about you each being somewhere private and comfortable. If you’d prefer to meet in person, we’ll arrange that. Sessions can also be “shuttle” sessions, with you in separate rooms, and sometimes two mediators or an expert join to reduce the number of meetings.
Where appropriate and agreed by you, a child inclusive mediator can talk with your children and share what they’re happy for you to know.
Ready to find out more?
We are confident that family mediation can be a safe, successful, lasting, and cost-effective alternative to a court-only process.
or call us on 01706 813 280 for an informal, no-pressure conversation about what mediation could do for you
Antworks Family Mediation — serving Todmorden, the Calder Valley, East Lancashire, West Yorkshire, and online.