With arrangements for Kai and Rocky feeling calmer, Lee and Taylor are back in Helen’s office for a different kind of conversation: money. They’ve agreed they want a clean break as part of their divorce, a tidy, final settlement that closes the door on future financial claims against each other. The first step towards that is something called an Open Statement of Financial Information

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What’s an Open Statement of Financial Information?

It sounds formal, but it’s really just an honest, shared list of everything both people own, owe, earn, and need. “Open” means it isn’t confidential in the way mediation discussions usually are, it can be shown to the court later, which matters if Lee and Taylor want their eventual agreement turned into a legally binding consent order. Filling it in together, with Helen’s support, means neither of them is negotiating in the dark. You need to be aware that a mediator can’t offer you financial advice, she just holds the space for you to talk about the issues. Helen always suggests that that individuals should also seek independent financial advice before and after completing the Open Statement of Financial Information. Sometimes couples also seek a detailed pension assessment. It can be expensive but can offer a lot of reassurance that you are making well informed decisions.

What’s actually on the table

Once the numbers are laid out, here’s roughly what Lee and Taylor’s picture looks like:

• Lee has a secure NHS job, a decent salary, and a valuable NHS pension.
• Taylor is self-employed, working from home as a web developer. Not long after Rocky was born, she became unwell with MS, and had to cash in a small private pension to fund a wheelchair that properly suits her needs. She has no pension provision beyond her state pension going forward.
• The family home is owned jointly, and has been specially adapted for Taylor’s wheelchair; ramps, wider doorways; an accessible bathroom. It isn’t just a house; it’s built around how she lives.
• Two cars, owned outright, one by each of them.
• Kai (15) and Rocky (7), both settled at local schools.
• Lee needs to buy a new home, since he’s the one who’ll be moving out.

Why mediation helps here

This is exactly the kind of situation where a fair outcome isn’t obvious just by looking at the numbers — and where mediation earns its keep. Helen won’t tell Lee and Taylor what’s fair; instead, she helps them talk it through using the same principles a court would apply under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. In plain terms, that means thinking about:

• The children’s welfare first. Stability for Kai and Rocky matters more than either parent “winning.”
• Needs, both now and in future including housing needs and Taylor’s ongoing health-related needs.
• Income and earning capacity, Lee’s steady NHS salary versus Taylor’s self-employed income, which MS may affect over time.
• Contributions each person has made including Taylor’s caring role and Lee’s income, both valued equally.
• Pensions are often overlooked, but a real and significant asset here.

The kinds of options mediation can help them explore

Keeping the adapted home with Taylor. Given the adaptations and the children’s schooling, Lee and Taylor may look at Taylor staying in the family home, at least while Rocky’s still at school, with Lee’s share of the equity offset elsewhere in the settlement rather than through a house sale neither of them wants.

Balancing the house against Lee’s pension. Lee’s NHS pension is a substantial asset that Taylor, with no pension of her own, doesn’t have an equivalent to. Mediation is a good place to discuss options like pension sharing (splitting some of Lee’s pension into a pension in Taylor’s own name) or offsetting (Taylor keeping more of the housing equity in exchange for a smaller share, or none, of the pension), whichever suits their overall goals better.

Helping Lee raise a deposit. If most of the equity in the family home stays with Taylor for now, Lee and Taylor can look together at what Lee realistically needs to buy elsewhere factoring in his NHS salary and mortgage capacity. So the settlement works for both households, not just one.

The cars and everyday assets. Simpler ones like this are often quickly agreed, each keeping the car already in their name, but it’s still useful to have them recorded clearly as part of the whole picture.

Maintenance, if needed. Depending on what the wider settlement looks like, Lee and Taylor may also discuss whether any ongoing spousal maintenance is appropriate, alongside child maintenance arrangements for Kai and Rocky.

None of this is decided by formula (except the child maintenance if the couple make their arrangement with the Child Maintenance Service rather than directly with each other) It’s a conversation grounded in honesty about the numbers, and in what actually matters to this particular family, until Lee and Taylor reach something they both feel is workable and fair. Once again, Helen will advise Lee and Taylor to access independent advice to check that the negotiation is fair to everyone.

Ready to find out more?

We are confident that mediation can help families reach a fair, lasting financial settlement without the cost and stress of a court battle. Small things really can make a big difference.

When you are ready to talk to someone about family mediation use our contact form to email enquiries@antworksfamilymediation.co.uk or call 01706 813 280 for an informal, no-pressure conversation about what mediation could do for your family.

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Antworks Family Mediation — serving Todmorden, the Calder Valley, East Lancashire, West Yorkshire, and online.